Let’s Go Around

One day as he was driving past the Tri-City Raceway, Curt noticed street cars going around the track. Woods had to assume that some teenagers had broken through the gates and made their way onto the track.

As he drove through the open gate he observed that it showed no signs of damage and as he got closer to the inside he could see that the track clock was on. 

He drove to the center of the track and found a small group of teenagers that made no attempt to flee as he approached.

When he stopped his car they came over.

“Hi officer.”

“Hi guys. What’s going on,” Curt asked.

“I’m Stan Meehan, My dad owns the track and he’s let us bring our cars out to see who can get the best time,” responded one of the boys.

“Well that sounds like more fun than humanly possible,” said Curt. “You go at it one at a time and just let the track timer figure out who goes around the fastest? So let me see who has the best time?”

The boys got excited to share, “Bobby has the best time so far at thirty two seconds with his Camaro. But Jason and Kyle are only one tenth of a second behind him. They have the Charger and the Mustang.”

Curt got out of his car and went to look over the cars. None of the cars were stock. The rear ends were jacked slightly to accommodate larger tires on the back. He knew that even with beefed up engines these cars weren’t going to do that well on the tri-oval track. They were better suited for drag racing in a straight line on a flat track. The tri-oval was steeply banked and built for beefed up suspensions and cars with a lower center of gravity. 

“Mind if I watch,” asked Woods.

“Hell no,” said Stan. “Who’s up next?”

“Chuck,” said Bobby pointing at 1970 Buick Skylark. 

Woods walked over to the car. Again the rear end had been jacked slightly with the use of air shocks and it had wider rear tires than stock. “What have you got under the hood Chuck,” asked Curt.

Chuck was all too happy to pop the hood and show off his 350 V8 with chrome valve covers and a four barrel carburetor. “Very nice,” said Curt. “Let’s see what you can do. But for the love of god don’t wreck it.”

Chuck slammed the hood down and jumped in behind the wheel. He pulled out onto the track as the others cheered him on.

Woods watched the Skylark go around the track three times and saw the automatic track timer readout the time for each lap. Chuck then pulled the car back into the center of the track. His best time had been within a couple tenths of thirty two seconds. As the young man got out of his car the boys all gathered around with excitement.

Curt joined them and said, “Well you guys have a good day, I’ve got to be getting back to work.” He then started walking back to his patrol vehicle.

But Stan wasn’t having it. “Before you go officer, could you show us what you can do in the patrol car?”

“Naw, I don’t want to make you boys feel bad. Your having a good time. Let’s just leave it at that,” said Curt.

“So, you don’t think you can beat our time,” Stan taunted smiling.

Woods smiled, “Something you boys need to realize is that if I’m ever chasing you, I don’t have to beat you. All I have to do is stay with you and come in second. The other thing you need to know is that these patrol cars are built to do just that. Add to that the fact that police officers drive their patrol cars eight hours a day. When you drive a vehicle that much eventually it becomes like a part of your body. That’s why truck drivers can handle their eighteen wheelers so well. You guys are having a great time and more fun than I ever had at your age. I don’t want to ruin that for you.”

Curt got back behind the wheel and started the patrol car. The young men gathered around his door and begged him to give it a go.

“Alright, fine,” said Woods. “But remember, you asked for it. I’ll go around once to get a feel for the track. Time me on the second lap.”

“You got it,” answered Stan as the other boys hollered with excitement. They were all curious to know how close he would come to their times.

Curt drove onto the track and checked out the high banked corners. The first time around he was feeling where the car and his tires were at their drifting limit. The patrol car had wider tires, a beefier suspension and a center of gravity that was about three feet below ground level. Warming up his tires and getting a feel for the track. The second time around he put the patrol car in a full drift for the entire lap. He went around a third time while he slowed down and pulled into the center of the track.

The boys were stunned to silence. Their best times had all been within tenths of a second. Woods had beat their best time on the half mile track by several seconds. Curt then smiled and nodded as he drove out the gate.

Want more stories like this check out the book The Chief Is Missing which is available in audio for those of us that don’t have time to sit down and read. Narrated by Dan Levy.

Another Book by J A Sliger is Code Name Artist. It’s a World War Two drama based on a man that fought the Nazi’s from inside the German Secret Service The Abwehr.

Just A Quiet Coffee

One night Curt was driving and Karl was riding with him. They had gone to get a coffee from the gas station and wanted to just sit out of the way on one of the back streets to enjoy their drink in the quiet of the evening.

It was a fairly hot night so as he backed in off the road, Curt rolled down his drivers side window. Then he and Karl just sat back to drink their coffee in peace.

But evidently a peaceful evening is not what the powers that be had in mind for the officers that night. 

A young man on a dirt bike came riding down the street doing about forty miles per hour in a twenty five mile per hour zone. Under the circumstances, since they were wanting to enjoy their coffee, if the young man had just blazed on past them, Curt might have just let it go.

But no. Right in front of where the officers were parked, the young man decided to do a doughnut in the center of the street. Again, if he had just done a big U-turn and headed back the way he had come, Curt might have let him go. 

But no. As he spun his dirt bike around so that his headlight hit the patrol car it was evident that he had not expected to see it. The rider jerked so hard he nearly fell over but then he quickly regained control and headed down the road again.

Curt said, “Well fuck,” and threw his coffee out his window.

Karl said, “Shit,” and tried to throw his coffee out. But his window was still up so the coffee just bounced and then dumped all over his lap.

“Damn it,” he grimaced in pain. Then pointing at the rider Karl added, “That one is mine.”

Curt laughed and punched the gas to chase down the rider. Once they had him stopped, Curt lent Karl his ticket book and allowed his friend to write the ticket.

Want more stories like this check out the book The Chief Is Missing which is available in audio for those of us that don’t have time to sit down and read. Narrated by Dan Levy

Another Book by J A Sliger is Code Name Artist. It’s a World War Two drama based on a man that fought the Nazi’s from inside the German Secret Service The Abwehr.

Bang Bang in Spanish


In High school Curt had taken German in order to talk with his aging great grand parents. Which worked out fine for the last few years of their lives. His great grandmother would often be speaking in English and then slip into German not realizing it. She had lived an incredible life. Coming over to America as a young teenager, arriving at Ellis Island, none of her family that was already here had come to meet her. Speaking very little English at the time she didn’t know what to do or where to go. As luck would have it, the Kennedy family were there that day looking to hire people to work at their estate. So she was hired and worked for a dozen years as an upstairs maid at the Kennedy mansion. Eating and sleeping on the property she never left and had nothing to spend her money on since her needs were being met. Eventually she wrote her brothers. When they found out she had saved up a good amount of money, they came out and got her. They took her money and married her off. Curt’s great grandfather then moved her out west and opened a saloon. So she had gone from being a young immigrant, to working for the Kennedy’s, to working in a saloon out west. She had a wicked sense of humor and stories galore. As a young teenager Curt would sit and play cards with her. She would always win because but it didn’t matter to Curt. He was just there to listen to her stories and laugh at her jokes. But when she passed away, he had no reason to speak German anymore. 

Working in an area with a heavy Mexican immigrant population, he quickly realized that it might have been more useful to have studied Spanish.

Coming across a Mexican man that was wanted for murder, Curt pulled his gun and said “Halt.” The man just smiled and started to go for his weapon. 

“Stop. Don’t move. Freeze,” Curt kept trying but the man just pretended he didn’t understand and kept going, smiling.

Then Curt remembered one day in high school, a couple of his friends were running down the hall pointing their fingers at each other and saying ‘kataploon’ as they pretended to shoot at each other. He had asked one of them what it meant and they had answered it means ‘bang-bang’ in Spanish. 

So now when he really needed it, the word came back to him and he looked at the man and said, “Stop or Kataploon!”

The Mexican man got a puzzled look on his face, stopped and said in perfect English, “What’s Kataploon?”

“It’s bang bang in Spanish,” explained Curt.

“No it’s not!” Declared the Mexican man.

“Well, how do you say bang bang in Spanish,” asked Curt.

“Bang bang,” said the man, a bit exasperated at how stupid the officer was.

“Oh,” said Curt. “By the way, since we now both know you speak English, I’m going to shoot your ass if you don’t put your hands up.”

The man complied and was arrested without incident. He probably couldn’t wait to tell the story  to others about what an idiot Curt was.


Want more stories like this check out the book The Chief Is Missing which is available in audio for those of us that don’t have time to sit down and read. Narrated by Dan Levy.

Another Book by J A Sliger is Code Name Artist. It’s a World War Two drama based on a man that fought the Nazi’s from inside the German Secret Service The Abwehr.

Two Pieces

Dating for a police officer is a little different. At least for Curt. There weren’t a string of one night stands. He wanted to be respectful, thoughtful and careful. When he met a girl he was interested in there would usually be a string of dates before they ever kissed.

Cathy Burns, a beautiful waitress at the Richland TJ’s restaurant. She had a pleasant, easy smile and casual nature. 

One night after he had ordered his dinner and Cathy was refilling his coffee, Curt got up the nerve, “So, Cathy. I wonder if it would be possible, I mean, may I request your company to join me for a movie and dinner some time?”

Cathy grinned. “Why Officer Curt, if that’s how you ask a girl out on a date… I thought you’d never ask.” She wrote her phone number on the back of his hand.

“I’m on nights until Wednesday. Can we plan on going this Friday if you don’t already have plans,” asked Curt.

“Well, I was going to do laundry and watch TV but I think I can clear my schedule,” Cathy responded with a wink.

That Friday Curt went and picked Cathy up and asked her, “So where would you like to have dinner?”

 “How about Round Table Pizza,” said Cathy. “I really love Pizza.”

Curt drove there and parked then got out and went around to open the door for Cathy and escorted her inside.

Once they were seated, “So what’s your favorite pizza,” asked Curt.

“Pepperoni and black olive,” Cathy answered without hesitation.

“Okay, then there’s no need to waste time looking at the menu,” said Curt with a smile. “What size should we order?”

“Let’s get a large,” replied Cathy. Again as if this was a predetermined issue.

“Are you sure? A large pizza can feed a family of twelve or six lumber jacks. I’m hungry and willing but I doubt I could eat half of a medium,” asked Curt.

“No, I’m really hungry and I really love pizza,” Cathy affirmed.

So Curt ordered the large. When it arrived Cathy ate two pieces. Curt could only eat four even as hungry as he was. That left half the pizza untouched. 

After dinner they went to see a movie and Curt drove her home.

The next time he asked her out Curt asked, “Where would you like to eat tonight? How about something besides pizza?”

“No, I really want pizza,” answered Cathy. 

“You’re kidding. Last time you only ate two pieces. We ended up feeding the homeless. Which I don’t have a problem with but I’d like you to enjoy dinner. Maybe a burger or steak,” said Curt.

“No, can we please go for pizza,” Cathy begged.

He drove her to Round Table and escorted her inside. Once they were seated and the waitress came to take their order, Curt looked at Cathy, “How about we get a medium this time?”

“I’m really hungry,” said Cathy with a pouty face for emphasis.

Curt looked at the waitress, “Is there a group of hungry teenagers that you can have standing by? We’ll have the large pepperoni with black olives please.”

The pizza arrived and again Cathy only ate two pieces. Curt began to debate whether this might be some kind of test. Was this Cathy’s way of determining her power over the guy or maybe how gullible he was personally? 

They went to another movie and he took Cathy home.

Before he asked her out again, Curt had to consider the pros and cons. Cathy was fun, intelligent, good company, and easy on the eyes. The only strike against her was the pizza issue. Still, he was interested. So he asked her out again.

Once he had picked her up and they were driving off he started, “Look, Cathy, you’re great company and I really like spending time with you. But I gotta say the whole large pizza deal is a real set back. Can we eat somewhere else tonight?”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Cathy answered. “But I really love pizza. I just really wanted you to like me and I didn’t want you to think I was a pig.”

“Not an issue, really. So can we eat somewhere else,” Curt begged.

“Can we go for pizza one more time? I promise I’ll eat more this time,” Cathy asked.

Curt looked at her. “Seriously? I’ll take you anywhere. Any restaurant in the Tri-Cities. Hell, if you asked I’d drive you to Yakima and let you pick a place to eat there. I’m beginning to feel stupid taking you for pizza.”

Cathy looked back and said, “I know I’ve been a pain in the ass. But honestly, I really love pizza. I don’t get it very often and I really crave it. I promise I’ll eat more this time.”

“No other food will do? Any other restaurant? Honestly? Is this you’re way of testing to see if I’m really interested in you? Come on,” Curt tried to negotiate.

“Please,” Cathy begged.

“Do you have friends that are going to Round Table and waiting for our left overs,” Curt chuckled.

Again, seated and ready to order, Curt tried one more time, “I love pizza too, and I’m hungry but even starving there is only so much I can eat. Can we settle on a medium size and see how it goes?”

“I know, I know. But I’m really hungry, and I promise I’ll eat more. Just one more time can we get a large,” Cathy reaffirmed.

“How about a medium, a bucket of pop and the desert of your choice,” Curt was still trying to end up with less than half of the pizza left over when they left.

“Please,” said Cathy sticking to her guns.

“Are we being watched? Have you made a bet with some friends that you can make me be stupid for you,” Curt said looking around the room.

“No, I just really want pizza. Please?”

Curt looked at the waitress, “How long have you worked here?”

“About a year,” answered the waitress smiling.

“Do other girls come in and ask for a large and then only eat two pieces? Is this some kind of dating thing,” Curt asked.

“No. Most folks settle for a medium unless it’s a group of people,” the waitress responded.

Curt looked at Cathy, “Can we please just get a medium? I can’t eat that much and based on your past performance neither can you.”

Cathy looked down, “I know. But can we please, just one more time get a large?”

“Fine,” said Curt slightly disappointed with himself for being manipulated into doing it again when he had been so determined not to. He looked up at the waitress, “Just out of curiosity, have you ever felt used and abused on a date? Never mind. That’s none of my business. We’ll take the large and can you get me an appointment to have my head examined?”

When the pizza showed up Curt took a piece and set it on his plate.

Cathy began folding pieces over onto each other and started eating three pieces at a time. 

Curt was stunned. Cathy continued not just with the first three pieces, but the next three and then again. It was all Curt could so to get two pieces for himself before the whole pizza was gone.

As she was finishing the last of it and licking her fingers, Curt finally asked, “What the hell? Who are you and what have you done with Cathy?”

“I told you I liked pizza,” she answered.

“Yeah, so do I but before you could only eat two pieces. What happened?”

“Well, I was just to shy before. After our other dates I’d go home and pig out. I just didn’t want to really eat in front of you,” Cathy explained.

“Okay, how about you back it off a little and let me get a few pieces. You know just a little shy is okay,” said Curt.


Want more stories like this check out the book The Chief Is Missing which is available in audio for those of us that don’t have time to sit down and read. Narrated by Dan Levy.

Another Book by J A Sliger is Code Name Artist. It’s a World War Two drama based on a man that fought the Nazi’s from inside the German Secret Service The Abwehr.

Horsing Around

While at work, Curt enjoyed going over the books of laws and statutes. Some of the older ones were kind of humorous. Since some of them were a hundred years old they had more to do with horses than cars. For instance, riding your horse over a bridge was against the law. Many of the ordinances came about because of specific events but those were not recorded. The ‘no riding over the bridge’ probably came about after one horse got spooked on the bridge and ended up killing someone. There was also a law regarding riding your horse while intoxicated. Again, probably because someone did so and there was some disastrous result. 

While on patrol one night Curt came across a very drunk man was riding his horse home from the tavern. He could understand the mans thinking that this was a brilliant idea since he wouldn’t be “driving” home drunk. He could get as drunk as he wanted because the horse knew the way home. The horse would be the designated driver. 

So the man tied the horse up outside the tavern and went inside. Bragging to his friends about how he had found the way around the DWI law. He wouldn’t be ‘driving’ home. The all toasted his brilliance. 

After he was properly and totally shit-faced, the man went outside, untied his horse and climbed into the saddle. He then passed out. Now in his mind, all he had to do was stay in the saddle and his faithful horse would get them home. 

It started out like a good idea. After a few minuted the horse began to walk toward home. Stopping occasionally to munch on some grass along the edge of the road. Curt observed the progress. Eventually, the horse became more interested in getting home than eating. But it was night. The horse was not to keen on the idea of staying close to the side of the road. Something might jump out and startle it. No, in the horses mind the safest place to be would be in the center of the road. That way, anything jumping out from the shoulder of the road, there would be some space, to escape. 

Problem was the horse wasn’t wearing anything reflective. It didn’t have ‘tail lights’ so from behind it was just a shadow going down the road. An accident waiting to happen. Any driver coming down the street at legal speed would have run up under the horse before they ever saw it.

Curt tried to get the horse to stay off to the side of the road. But as soon as he backed off the horse would get right back out into the center of the roadway. 

After several attempts, Curt finally decided that the only safe thing to do for the horse and rider would be to get them off the street. So he tied the horse to the back bumper of the patrol car and pulled the man from the saddle, arrested him and placed him in the back of the car. The man was to drunk to even be aware that he was under arrest. 

Then he drove slowly back to the police station, leading the horse carefully along. After tying the horse up outside the station he took the man in for a breathalyzer and booking.

The next morning the Tri City Herald headline read that a man had been arrested for “Riding While Intoxicated” as if even being drunk as a passenger in someone else’s vehicle, in West Richland, they would still arrest you.


Want more stories like this check out the book The Chief Is Missing which is available in audio for those of us that don’t have time to sit down and read. Narrated by Dan Levy.

Another Book by J A Sliger is Code Name Artist. It’s a World War Two drama based on a man that fought the Nazi’s from inside the German Secret Service The Abwehr.